5-Steps to Spiritual Surrender

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Posted on May 04, 2021

Surrender -- what a charged word. It reminds me of war scenes in movies when one party is forced to surrender because they have been cornered or overpowered. They have to give up in order to survive. They have lost the fight.

That is the same reaction I had to the word when I heard it used in a spiritual context. “You mean you just want me to give up? Not DO anything?” My whole body resisted this idea and I was grasping to stay in control. What I thought was being in control was just my ego calling the shots.

Although, I have come a long way and I understand the concept of surrender and taking spirit-aligned action, it is still hard to trust in divine timing and that everything is working out for our highest good. Contrary to what I believed, this isn’t a passive process at all but requires us to get aligned with the highest vibration possible, to train our trust muscle, to manifest and take aligned action from that energetic space.

The key to all of this is the process of healing and letting go of what, when, and how you expect things to occur and letting go of who you think you ought to be. Aligning with our highest potential requires deep soul healing. And this is not for the faint of heart. This is not losing the fight but actually sitting in the fire. This is brave and this is hard.

As humans (especially this Virgo rising over here) we love to make plans and plans aren’t all bad. But we end up getting in our own way when we start to fixate on the plans, the goals, and the outcome. We get in our own way when we try our hardest to control circumstances to uphold what we believe is the right, the fastest, the best plan. But God / Goddess / Divine / Universe laughs at best laid plans because there are so many factors beyond our control. When we relentlessly pursue the path of our ego, we do it at the expense of our connection with the Universe. We stop the flow of wisdom, guidance, and inspiration.

In spiritual surrender, we give up our attachment to specific beliefs and desired outcomes and we allow the wisdom of the divine consciousness to show us the way. Fact is, that the Divine has a far greater perspective and knows what we cannot. Sure, we always have free will to decide how, when, why we do things, but when we surrender, we disengage from the struggle that ensues when we continue to resist what is best for us.

In spiritual surrender, we allow the Divine to show us different ways and creative solutions. We come to see obstacles as detours in the right direction. We let go of the concept of failure and we stop beating ourselves up and instead let the Divine work through us in new ways and in divine timing.

Learn to enjoy the practice of spiritual surrender as it will provide you with so much comfort and relief knowing that you are being taken care of. You do not have to rely on your own strength for everything. Be open to creative solutions and trust that the Universe has a plan far greater than your own.

Practicing Spiritual Surrender:  

The most important part of any spiritual practice is being able to drop into your body and to make contact with your feelings and the parts of you that are communicating with you. Drop into your body and notice the fear, anxiety, and uncertainty that is causing you to control and grasp. Stay with this physical sensation in your body and allow yourself to fully feel it. You have to feel it before you can release and surrender to it.

Once you have recognized that you are in a space of grasping for control, practice this 5-step process to spiritual surrender by Gabby Bernstein. I believe this process is a good way to start practicing and I have added my own tweaks to the process below.

Believe me when I say that you will be practicing this for the rest of your life and just when you thought you surrendered, you will be asked to surrender more.

5 Step Process to Spiritual Surrender 

Step 1: Surrender

Fear or frustration are sure indicators that you’re relying on your own strength instead of the support and guidance that is available to you from the Universe. The support of the Universe and your guides is always available to you but they won’t step in until you ask and then step aside, until you surrender.

Ask for support during your meditation or prayer and then allow them to show you. Do not try to hold onto a specific outcome, timing or process (that is control). Allow the Universe to show you what you need and what is for your highest good and the highest good for all.

If you struggle asking for support, then you can start by using this prayer from A Course in Miracles:

Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? And to whom?

Step 2: Practice gratitude

Instead of focusing on what isn’t already apparent in physical manifestation, redirect your focus on what has already manifested and what you do have. Celebrate all the small and big things you are grateful for in your life and nurture this vibration of gratitude, love, and joy. Enjoy the process as much as possible – think of it as an adventure. When we are able to attune to the frequency of joy and love, we activate our capacity to manifest with the Universe and for the Universe to manifest through us.


Step 3: Reframe your perception of obstacles or failure

Gabby says to recognize that obstacles are detours in the right direction. You can also say that when one door closes another door opens – all we have to do is keep walking down the hall until the right door becomes apparent.

Roadblocks, obstacles, rejection, periods of waiting or slow / no progress are all part of the process and our path. Often these roadblocks will trigger us and redirect us on a path of healing. We will be faced with circumstances, thoughts, and people that are put on our path to help us heal and unblock so we can be ready to receive what the Universe has in store for us. When you practice spiritual surrender, you can detach from the outcome and trust that what is happening is happening for your highest good and that the Universe is guiding you toward love.


Step 4: Ask for signs

Staying in a place of spiritual surrender is hard and there are going to be times when you catch yourself falling back into old habits and the need to control. When this happens, practice these steps – surrender, practice gratitude, and reframe your thoughts, ask for a sign – then allow the Universe to show you that you are on the right path.

You won’t always understand why you are being guided down a particular path as “life is experienced forward but understood backwards” – that is why it is important to ask for signs to get that confirmation. It makes it so much easier to trust and to stay patient and in the right vibrational frequencies.

Guidance is all around you, all the time. All you have to do is ask and pay attention.


Step 5: When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more!

Faith is a muscle. Just as we are diligent in practicing the piano or practicing in the gym to get stronger, having a strong spiritual muscle also requires practice. We call it spiritual practice for a reason. Staying at higher vibrational frequencies requires practice – to not let external noise pull us away from our center. Trusting in divine timing requires practice and strength.

Spiritual surrender is no different. Practice surrendering every day. When we trust and have evidence that we are being supported and guided, then we can afford to be patient and wait without anxiety.


Let go and receive!